


Christmas Sucks

by MiraculousTrash (AdriannaRhode)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, I Don't Even Know, I am so sorry for this, absolute crack, it's rated for language, like barely passes as a real story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 13:35:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9074260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdriannaRhode/pseuds/MiraculousTrash
Summary: Sure, Adrien’s father refused to spend time with him or help decorate the tree or acknowledge his existence in any way. And yeah, maybe Adrien ran away from home and ended up Cataclysm-ing a giant picture of his own face. But things could have been worse. (ML Christmas Special Crack!)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Fuck, guys. I don't even know. Think of this as a late Christmas present from your local vodka aunt of a fic writer.  
> Also, I did the translations from French myself so I'm sorry if they're screwy.

Maybe Christmas wasn’t so bad after all.

Sure, Adrien’s father refused to spend time with him or help decorate the tree or acknowledge his existence in any way. And yeah, maybe Adrien ran away from home and ended up Cataclysm-ing a giant picture of his own face. But things could have been worse. The Pere Noel who picked him up was really nice, and the hat Marinette made was exactly what he had needed. 

So when he rang the buzzer outside the mansion walls, he was definitely not expecting his father to answer. 

“Adrien? It’s you,” Gabriel Agreste said, sounding shell-shocked. 

The little security camera darted over to Pere Noel.

“And who are you?”

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?” the Santa said cheerfully, “I’m Pere Noel!”

“Of course, and I’m the Easter Bunny,” scoffed Gabriel, “Aren’t you ashamed to be bothering us on Christmas Eve? Beat it, or I’ll call my bodyguard!”

“Father, you’re mistaken!” Adrien pleaded. 

But the universe was just not on Adrien’s side, because Ladybug touched down on the pavement behind them an instant later, glaring at Pere Noel like he had just given her coal for Christmas.

“No, he’s right. Your father saw through his plans! This man is a supervillain under the Papillon’s control!” she declared. 

Adrien stared at her, “W-what?!”

“You’ve all lost your minds!” said Pere Noel, and he made a mad dash for his sleigh. 

Adrien didn’t know where to look. Ladybug lashed out with her yoyo and caught Pere Noel around the ankle, stopping him in his tracks. 

“No, Ladybug! Stop!” Adrien found himself begging, “He’s not akumatized!” 

Pere Noel cracked the reins and let his ponies pull the sleigh away. Ladybug glanced after him, her yoyo spinning a tight vertical circle.

“I know how to recognize an akuma victim. Trust me,” she said coldly. 

“You’re wrong!” Adrien insisted. 

“How do you know?” 

“I just know!”

Ladybug stomped her foot in frustration, “I’m wasting time!”

“Just listen to me!” said Adrien. 

“I am listening!” 

“No you’re not!”

“There’s an akuma out there, and I have to stop it. Are you going to let me or not?” Ladybug demanded.

“You’d listen to me if I were him,” Adrien grumbled.

Ladybug flicked her wrist, making the yoyo spin faster, “What was that?”

And Adrien snapped, “You’d listen to me if I looked like this!”

He dropped the blanket that Pere Noel had wrapped around his shoulder, and yanked Plagg out of his overshirt.

“Plagg, transformer-moi!” 

And a flash of green later, there stood Adrien in his Chat Noir suit, arms crossed defiantly at Ladybug. 

The yoyo fell out of the air as Ladybug’s arms went limp at her sides. She was staring at him, mouth gaping and eyes wide. 

“Oh.” 

Adrien shrugged, “He’s not an akuma. I would know.” 

And then Ladybug started sputtering, “You…but you’re…y-you’re…Adrien, I don’t…oh my GOD, Adrien-”

She was cut off, however, from taking that thought any further, as a horrible loud shrieking sound began to emanate from the direction of Adrien’s house. He could hear bits and pieces of it. 

“…Son of a BITCH!...I can’t believe…SHIT. CHRIST…”

Adrien looked at Ladybug, who had not moved from her transfixed stare.

“Should we…like…check that out?” he asked. 

Ladybug seemed like she was about to respond with something other than his name in an increasingly high pitch, when she was again interrupted. 

A tiny silver trinket came flying over the mansion wall and buried itself in the snow at Adrien’s feet. 

He looked down at it, “What the-”

As if to save herself the trauma of speaking, Ladybug darted down and picked up the thing. It was a small silver tie slide, shaped like the wings of a butterfly. 

“This isn’t…” she said, turning it in her hands wonderingly, “It can’t be…I mean…”

Adrien glanced from the top window of the mansion, where a thin figure was leaning against the partially open glass, screaming. 

“YOU CAN KEEP IT! I DON’T GIVE A SHIT! ADRIEN, YOU’RE GROUNDED UNTIL FOREVER. I DIDN’T RAISE YOU TO BE MY ARCH NEMESIS. GODDAMNIT, LADYBUG!”

Ladybug’s face was twisted with confusion, “Is…is that your dad?” 

“…Yeah, I think so.” 

“Oh. Nice.”

The gates of the mansion swung open, and Nathalie hurried down the driveway towards the two superheroes. 

“Adrien,” she huffed, out of breath, “Your dad’s gonna kill me.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“Take off the supersuit.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Ladybug pointed in the other direction awkwardly, “Alright, well…I gotta goooo…”

“That’s probably for the best,” said Adrien, as Nathaline dragged him up the driveway by his Chat Noir tail.

“We’ll talk about this in the morning.”

“Assuming I live that long.”

Ladybug snorted, “Same.” 

She swung away on her yoyo, leaving Adrien in skintight leather with his father’s personal assistant.

And in that moment, Adrien knew he was right all along. Christmas sucks.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidays, babies!!! I hope you got nice gifts and good food and time with loved ones.


End file.
